Distance

The last couple of weeks have been something of a test to my friendship and ability to stay involved in friends' lives from a distance. I want to help...I will do almost anything for my friends and help them in whatever way I can and in whatever way they will let me. Now that I am in Toronto and 1200 miles from home I cannot help them they way that I want. Somehow ((hug)) via IM doesn't quite match up.

J was fired in early February, which began a bit of a downslide in other areas of his life. He still hasn't found a new job and is being evicted amidst other problems. He needs a friend...a shoulder...a hand...but I can't offer that.

C just got dumped by a guy whom he really cared about and was trying to make a long distance relationship work with. That also started what appears to be a bit of a downhill slide into self-doubt and almost self-hatred.

N told me tonight that he is HIV+. Now, there is NOTHING I can do about that and even if I were back home he would still be a couple of hours away, but the possibility of being able to help him would be a little more available.

At least with the magic of email and IM I am able to be in daily contact with them rather than having to wait for a letter several weeks after the event. I don't know if that makes things easier or harder, though. I can't really do anything to help my friends through their crises and yet the ability to even offer a shoulder or ear or entertaining dinner seems like something...but I can't even do that. I cannot solve everyone's problems, no matter how much I might want to and maybe this is the lesson I am supposed to learn by being so far away. I can only offer them what I can offer them, which is basically virtual or phone support...much like customer service.