They walk alike. They talk alike. Sometimes they even dress alike.

I am a self-identified voyeur. People-watching is one of my favorite activities...the mall, coffeeshops, restaurants, wherever. I am not criminal and I do not stalk people (contrary to popular opinion), but people, whether you only seem them once or repeatedly, are interesting.

With that in mind, my boyfriend and I were eating dinner Sunday evening at a restaurant in the gay-friendly area of town. (On a personal note, I forget the feeling of accepted community when there are other gay men around. There is just a different sense of self I get when I realize that I am not alone and that there are many like me. I don't think I am alone in feeling this way...maybe some of you feel the same way to some degree, maybe not.)

Anyway, as I sat in this restaurant my voyeuristic tendencies took control.

Next to us was a family of 5: man, woman, 3 kids; like so many in this area of Dallas they seemed nouveau-riche-soccer-mom-H3 kind of people. They were discussing relators and social clubs...actually, the woman was talking and the man was listening, which is probably why he was downing the Tecate like water. She also had a drink and was totally the Go-get-mommy-another-martini-then-go-play-outside type.

They were interesting, but not the focus of my attention. There were a number of tables of gay men: pairs, groups, mixed groups...the gamut. A couple of them were attractive and my attention was focused on them for more than mere observational purposes, but I digress. You could almost instantly pick out the gay men who were friends, partners, or fuck buddies--that last group wasn't quite as obvious, but I like to imagine.

Friends were easy...there seemed to be a certain aura around friends. Maybe they used to date, maybe they used to sleep together, but now it is strictly platonic.

Partners are the most interesting and entertaining. If you are gay and been with your partner for any amount of time, then Congratulations, but be warned...others might not be able to distinguish yourself from your partner. Gay partners, it seems, tend to look a lot like each other. Since gay men are already superficial, they tend to spend a lot of time at their local gym, and tend to prefer guys who do the same. The Narcissus complex is usually strong with such types and they tend to want to date themselves...so they find someone who looks like them, dresses like them (i.e. 20 years younger than they are), acts like them, etc. Out of the 5-6 couples observed over the course of an hour at this restaurant, at least 4 of them were like bookends. Now there were several couples who seemed to be interested in a little more diversity...different body types, tanning ability, hair color, etc., but they were in the minority.

I have discussed this observation with 3 other gay friends and they agree. So just keep your eyes open and see what you notice.

PS. I don't have the room here to discuss what some of these people were wearing, but needless-to-say it was quite the show. I will say this, though: a 45+ year old does not need to be wearing a yellow polo shirt with the collar up.