Today's dictionary.com Word of the Day is "dilatory."
dilatory \DIL-uh-tor-ee\, adjective:
1. Tending to put off what ought to be done at once; given to
procrastination.
2. Marked by procrastination or delay; intended to cause
delay; -- said of actions or measures.
I am moving to Long Island, NY in less than two weeks. I have not started packing a single thing yet. Packing is not the most fun or enticing activity that there is, but it still has to get done. A friend thinks that my dilatoriness regarding packing is related to my anxiety about the impending move...I am sure he is right. I am nervous about leaving a city I have been in for 22 years and moving across the country to a place where I don't know anyone. I am trying to be positive and know that this is a good move for me and everything will turn out great. We'll see.
Once I get to Long Island, though, I will start applying for PhD programs in Art History. I will barely be in Long Island for a year before I am off to another locale. I am pretty sure this Texan will survive for less than a year in New York, and if not, it should be an interesting adventure.
I have very mixed emotions about leaving, which I am sure is completely natural. There are tons of people who I am going to miss--friends and family--and it is going to be hard leaving my job (of which I only have 3 more days of). Its funny...I am realizing how I feel about certain people as it gets closer to leaving and I realize how much I am going to miss them. Someone who I thought was just a friend is going to leave a big whole in my life, while someone who is supposedly closer to me I am not too worried about. It is interesting how you may know someone for a length of time and never really think about them, until one day you look and it suddenly crystallizes how much you care about them. Kind of shocking but usually a very good feeling...unless, of course, you are getting ready to move across the country.
With the way that everyone is in daily, immediate contact through email and instant messenger moving away is not the detachment and loss that it maybe used to be. You may not see certain people everyday anymore, but you can practically have conversations with them through cyber space.
So, if the world is shrinking, why does it feel like I am moving so far away?
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Monday, July 18, 2005
They walk alike. They talk alike. Sometimes they even dress alike.
I am a self-identified voyeur. People-watching is one of my favorite activities...the mall, coffeeshops, restaurants, wherever. I am not criminal and I do not stalk people (contrary to popular opinion), but people, whether you only seem them once or repeatedly, are interesting.
With that in mind, my boyfriend and I were eating dinner Sunday evening at a restaurant in the gay-friendly area of town. (On a personal note, I forget the feeling of accepted community when there are other gay men around. There is just a different sense of self I get when I realize that I am not alone and that there are many like me. I don't think I am alone in feeling this way...maybe some of you feel the same way to some degree, maybe not.)
Anyway, as I sat in this restaurant my voyeuristic tendencies took control.
Next to us was a family of 5: man, woman, 3 kids; like so many in this area of Dallas they seemed nouveau-riche-soccer-mom-H3 kind of people. They were discussing relators and social clubs...actually, the woman was talking and the man was listening, which is probably why he was downing the Tecate like water. She also had a drink and was totally the Go-get-mommy-another-martini-then-go-play-outside type.
They were interesting, but not the focus of my attention. There were a number of tables of gay men: pairs, groups, mixed groups...the gamut. A couple of them were attractive and my attention was focused on them for more than mere observational purposes, but I digress. You could almost instantly pick out the gay men who were friends, partners, or fuck buddies--that last group wasn't quite as obvious, but I like to imagine.
Friends were easy...there seemed to be a certain aura around friends. Maybe they used to date, maybe they used to sleep together, but now it is strictly platonic.
Partners are the most interesting and entertaining. If you are gay and been with your partner for any amount of time, then Congratulations, but be warned...others might not be able to distinguish yourself from your partner. Gay partners, it seems, tend to look a lot like each other. Since gay men are already superficial, they tend to spend a lot of time at their local gym, and tend to prefer guys who do the same. The Narcissus complex is usually strong with such types and they tend to want to date themselves...so they find someone who looks like them, dresses like them (i.e. 20 years younger than they are), acts like them, etc. Out of the 5-6 couples observed over the course of an hour at this restaurant, at least 4 of them were like bookends. Now there were several couples who seemed to be interested in a little more diversity...different body types, tanning ability, hair color, etc., but they were in the minority.
I have discussed this observation with 3 other gay friends and they agree. So just keep your eyes open and see what you notice.
PS. I don't have the room here to discuss what some of these people were wearing, but needless-to-say it was quite the show. I will say this, though: a 45+ year old does not need to be wearing a yellow polo shirt with the collar up.
With that in mind, my boyfriend and I were eating dinner Sunday evening at a restaurant in the gay-friendly area of town. (On a personal note, I forget the feeling of accepted community when there are other gay men around. There is just a different sense of self I get when I realize that I am not alone and that there are many like me. I don't think I am alone in feeling this way...maybe some of you feel the same way to some degree, maybe not.)
Anyway, as I sat in this restaurant my voyeuristic tendencies took control.
Next to us was a family of 5: man, woman, 3 kids; like so many in this area of Dallas they seemed nouveau-riche-soccer-mom-H3 kind of people. They were discussing relators and social clubs...actually, the woman was talking and the man was listening, which is probably why he was downing the Tecate like water. She also had a drink and was totally the Go-get-mommy-another-martini-then-go-play-outside type.
They were interesting, but not the focus of my attention. There were a number of tables of gay men: pairs, groups, mixed groups...the gamut. A couple of them were attractive and my attention was focused on them for more than mere observational purposes, but I digress. You could almost instantly pick out the gay men who were friends, partners, or fuck buddies--that last group wasn't quite as obvious, but I like to imagine.
Friends were easy...there seemed to be a certain aura around friends. Maybe they used to date, maybe they used to sleep together, but now it is strictly platonic.
Partners are the most interesting and entertaining. If you are gay and been with your partner for any amount of time, then Congratulations, but be warned...others might not be able to distinguish yourself from your partner. Gay partners, it seems, tend to look a lot like each other. Since gay men are already superficial, they tend to spend a lot of time at their local gym, and tend to prefer guys who do the same. The Narcissus complex is usually strong with such types and they tend to want to date themselves...so they find someone who looks like them, dresses like them (i.e. 20 years younger than they are), acts like them, etc. Out of the 5-6 couples observed over the course of an hour at this restaurant, at least 4 of them were like bookends. Now there were several couples who seemed to be interested in a little more diversity...different body types, tanning ability, hair color, etc., but they were in the minority.
I have discussed this observation with 3 other gay friends and they agree. So just keep your eyes open and see what you notice.
PS. I don't have the room here to discuss what some of these people were wearing, but needless-to-say it was quite the show. I will say this, though: a 45+ year old does not need to be wearing a yellow polo shirt with the collar up.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Remembering London
This was posted on the ExLibris listserv today and I felt like copying and keeping it to remember.
As someone who still takes comfort in messages posted to this listKnowing several people who are, or soon to be, in London, even events so far away still hit close to home. If it is even possible for a positive to come out of this, then perhaps it is that more were not killed. From being in the Underground many times at 9am, I know how crowded it truly is. 12 hours after the 4 bombs went off the death toll is at 37 with about 700 injured and many, many more who are incredibly lucky.
following 9/11, let me say how much my thoughts are with friends and
colleagues, known and unknown, in London today. The long walk home is
something that is long remembered, all the more so by the knowledge that
not everyone will be "safe home." I remember the researchers who spent the
day of 9/11 with us here in the Rare Book and Manuscript Library at
Columbia University, as we tried to carry on business. They were very
patient with us, and we were grateful for them, knowing that they are a
good portion of the reason why we are here. Yes, as mentioned on another
list-serve today, London has seen and endured much worse, with witnesses
still alive to remember. New York, in general, had forgotten such things as
the fires of the American Revolutionary War and the draft riots of the
American Civil War. It is our job to keep the records of history available,
each in our own institutional collections, even when it is not so easy to
keep going with the day-to-day work at hand.
Jennifer B. Lee
Rare Book & Manuscript Library
Columbia University Libraries
Thursday, June 23, 2005
You talkin' to me?
I was sitting at Starbucks last night, minding my own business, reading my book about Jesus' teenage years, when a customer walks in. As is the custom, everytime someone walks in you quickly glance up at them. Well, I do this and he looks at me with this big shit-eating grin and says (rather loudly), "Oh! There you are."
I had no idea who this man was, so I am sure I had a rather odd look on my face. He realizes that he mistook me for someone else and apologizes profusely. He said that I looked exactly like the guy he was going to meet. Well, now the Alicia, Ben (Starbucks employees), and I can't wait to see my twin. The guy hangs out for a little bit, not purchasing coffee, then goes outside to meet someone on the sidewalk. HE LOOKED NOTHING LIKE ME!! Ok, sure, he had dark blonde/light brown short hair, but that was about it. They talk for a minute then leave.
The moral of the story is: when you are going to Starbucks to meet your internet gay sex hook-up, be sure you know well enough what he looks like before you talk to strangers.
Maybe I should post a Missed Connection on Craigslist and see what happens.
I had no idea who this man was, so I am sure I had a rather odd look on my face. He realizes that he mistook me for someone else and apologizes profusely. He said that I looked exactly like the guy he was going to meet. Well, now the Alicia, Ben (Starbucks employees), and I can't wait to see my twin. The guy hangs out for a little bit, not purchasing coffee, then goes outside to meet someone on the sidewalk. HE LOOKED NOTHING LIKE ME!! Ok, sure, he had dark blonde/light brown short hair, but that was about it. They talk for a minute then leave.
The moral of the story is: when you are going to Starbucks to meet your internet gay sex hook-up, be sure you know well enough what he looks like before you talk to strangers.
Maybe I should post a Missed Connection on Craigslist and see what happens.
Monday, June 13, 2005
Fufluns
Fufluns is an Etruscan god closely related to Bacchus and Dionysus; the god of the Grape and Fertility. Who gives their gods names like "Fufluns?" Seriously! No wonder the Roman decimated the Etruscans.
A very good friend of mine leaves today for 6 weeks on an Etruscan archaeological dig in Tuscany. Life will be considerably less exciting without her around all summer. Its funny how you grow to depend on people. We weren't very close until this past year, when her imaginary boyfriend and my imaginary girlfriend moved away...then we only had each other. Over the course of a year, you just become accumstomed to seeing that person, talking to that person, knowing that when you need something they will be there. Its hard when you first realize that that is temporarily gone. I reminded me of last year when my roommate left. All of a sudden I was on my own; I didn't have that constant companion; the house was quiet. You always get used to the change, but it is difficult at first and you don't like it much. Things are like that for a couple of days, but then you get over it and life goes on.
A very good friend of mine leaves today for 6 weeks on an Etruscan archaeological dig in Tuscany. Life will be considerably less exciting without her around all summer. Its funny how you grow to depend on people. We weren't very close until this past year, when her imaginary boyfriend and my imaginary girlfriend moved away...then we only had each other. Over the course of a year, you just become accumstomed to seeing that person, talking to that person, knowing that when you need something they will be there. Its hard when you first realize that that is temporarily gone. I reminded me of last year when my roommate left. All of a sudden I was on my own; I didn't have that constant companion; the house was quiet. You always get used to the change, but it is difficult at first and you don't like it much. Things are like that for a couple of days, but then you get over it and life goes on.
Monday, May 23, 2005
Words I hate
Guesstimate, and all its derivatives.
Pronunciation: 'ges-t&-m&t
Function: noun
Etymology: blend of guess and estimate
: an estimate usually made without adequate information
Isn't "an estimate made without adequate information" simply a guess?
From the OED:1936 N.Y. Times 22 Dec., ‘Guesstimates’ is the word frequently used by the statisticians and population experts. 1943 N.Y. Times 19 July 4/6 Many Americans..think the Axis..will be defeated in less than two years. Intangibles..might make this popular ‘guestimate’ close to correct. 1948 Jrnl. R. Aeronaut. Soc. LII. 614/2 The former is a firm figure which arises in fact. The latter is an arbitrary ‘guesstimate’. 1957 R. WATSON-WATT Three Steps to Victory liii. 316 This mixture of estimates and guestimates comes out better than we deserve, for the Opana clock was very unlikely to agree with whatever clocks and watches were consulted in the aircraft and in Pearl Harbor. 1967 New Scientist 24 Aug. 373/2 Faced with engineering problems of this magnitude, £20 million is likely to prove as elusive a ‘guesstimate’ as the original figure for Concord. 1970 Daily Tel. 1 Oct. 19 (Advt.), £1000 tax free clear profit... This is proved performance
not an optimistic guesstimate.
Pronunciation: 'ges-t&-m&t
Function: noun
Etymology: blend of guess and estimate
: an estimate usually made without adequate information
Isn't "an estimate made without adequate information" simply a guess?
From the OED:
not Hence 
guesstimate
tmationguesstimator
Naturally the first usage of it would be American.
Monday, May 09, 2005
The evils of email
I applied for a scholarship from my employer to help with my Masters degree. I have been anxiously awaiting their decision, thinking that I had a pretty good chance at getting it. I found out today that because a part of the application was missing, I wasn't even considered.
I am sure this was my fault and I just forgot to put all parts of the application in the envelope--although I swear that I did--and I swear that I checked to make sure everything was there several times. Still, something was missing.
You would think that someone could have let me know if something was missing before the application was turned over to the committee, but apparently this was hoping for too much.
When I found out about their decision, I questioned it myself, then forwarded the responded email to my boss, with an attached comment blowing of some steam at those involved in the process. With the best of intentions my boss also questions the decision, but he included my rant in his letter to the powers-that-be.
Things just aren't working out too well. At least I have calmed down enough where I am not shaking with fury anymore....and that's a good thing.
I am sure this was my fault and I just forgot to put all parts of the application in the envelope--although I swear that I did--and I swear that I checked to make sure everything was there several times. Still, something was missing.
You would think that someone could have let me know if something was missing before the application was turned over to the committee, but apparently this was hoping for too much.
When I found out about their decision, I questioned it myself, then forwarded the responded email to my boss, with an attached comment blowing of some steam at those involved in the process. With the best of intentions my boss also questions the decision, but he included my rant in his letter to the powers-that-be.
Things just aren't working out too well. At least I have calmed down enough where I am not shaking with fury anymore....and that's a good thing.
Friday, April 22, 2005
Liza One Note
Not trying to too strongly fit the stereotype of the gay man, I went to a Liza Minelli concert Wednesday night. Now, I am not a big fan of Liza’s; however, she is something of an icon and Lord knows there was going to be excellent people-watching at this event. Rarely do you get to see aging gay men rubbing elbows with rich old people and society folk. Anywhere where there are either gay men or society people, there will be some interesting clothing choices, including the sheer green "dress" with the saftey pin design and the man carrying the sequined Louis Vuitton evening bag a la Blanche Devereaux.
It was one of the most surreal evenings I have ever experienced. The concert itself was actually quite good...she is nothing if not an entertainer. It was a benefit for a local charity, so after everyone got through congratulating themselves, the magic began.
I would never have believed it had I not seen it for myself, but she really is a living charicature of herself. She mentioned "mama" and everyone applauded. She forgot the words to a song, stopped to look at the music and everyone applauded. She swivelled her bionic hips and everyone applauded.
Is it wrong that I enjoyed myself?
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Blog virginus et alia
This is my first endeavor with blogging. We'll see how it goes.
The title is my favorite Latin word, spelled the Medieval Latin way. If you have been paying attention, there have already seen several references to 'Medieval' and 'Latin' and this is only the 4th sentence. Yes, I am a big medieval studies nerd, but most of you already knew this. I have a 14th-century soul and if I believe my chakra cleanser/energy worker/herbalist it goes all the way back to Celtic times, which is also not a surprise for those of you who know me.
I decided to create this blog out of sheer boredom, actually. My boss has been gone for the past two days, and after 3pm I am the only one in the office. While there are many times I crave to have nothing to do, to much of a good thing is really aggravating. Also, there seem to be some big changes looming on the horizon of my life, so I figured it might be a good idea to start keeping track of these things somehow. I have never been consistent with keeping a journal so hopes are not too high for the longevity of this blog...but then again, I may surprise myself. Stay tuned.
PS. 21 April 753 BC was the day that Rome was founded. Happy 2758th Birthday Eternal City!!
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