Relationships are hard enough without having problems communicating with the other person. Emotions are perceived and assumed which usually lead to more problems.
I asked a friend of mine/boy I have been dating, J, to go to a movie Friday night, but he didn't seem too interested, so I asked another friend, C, to go to the movies and let J know. Granted, I didn't handle this the best way possible but apparently J got mad that I "stood him up" and preferred to spend the evening with someone else. He refused to speak to me on Saturday; I ended up seeing him out that evening at a gay bar dancing with someone else. We didn't speak.
I don't see this as all my fault as I made my intentions and plans clear (or at least I thought) yet we are not responsible for how others react to our actions. His actions were little better. It just turned into an escalation of refused communication.
When I reopened the communication lines I had my head torn off for "standing him up" and was told that the world did not revolve around me and he had other things to worry about than me. As it turns out he is going through so bad family problems that arose Saturday evening. I have no control over that so I guess he is mad at me for not being there for him....I don't know.
All I can do now is be there for J, if he will let me. I can't do anything for him but offer support and a shoulder to lean on or hand to hold. My white knight complex gets a bit out of control at times and I think that I have to solve everyones' problems, not realizing that there is really nothing I can do but be an ear or a comfort to them, not their fixer or protector.
I refuse to accept all blame for this yet I somehow have the feeling that is what will happen. I am moving to Canada at the end of August--about 6 weeks--and I don't want to waste any time that I have left with my friends or the people that I care about arguing or fighting over petty issues...its not worth it.
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