Is it time to go home yet?

I have been in Toronto since 4 September and today, 26 October, the full-blown homesickness hit. Walking back to my room from dinner tonight I felt the complete absense of my friends and the lack of their presence in my life. I am so busy up here that I often don't really feel the lack because I am too busy to, but those occassions when I stop to take a breath it starts to creep up on me, slowly reminding me of its place in my life.

There are several people here who I am friends with, or at least beginning friendships, but still nothing like the close, deep connections I have to people at home....those people who don't even have to ask me if something is wrong...those people who want to see me or spend time with me, and not because we have an assignment due...those people who you can sit with but not talk to and yet have a great time together.

I have been trying to call J for the past two weeks but he hasn't answered his phone, probably because some weird foreign number comes up, but he can always call me back. I told him to let me know when it was convenient for him and I would call then, but apparently no time has yet been convenient. He no longer has internet access at his house, as he is getting ready to move, so communication that way is very limited. One of the connections that is pivotally important to me feels like it has been severed. I haven't talked to him on the phone in probably a month. Its funny...but just hearing his voice on his voicemail when I would call helped and yet hurt at the same time. It was good to hear even his voice, granted via a recording, but it also made me realize the ache of missing him.

The same holds true for C. I am going to call him tonight, if I don't go downstairs to the pumpkin carving. I talk to him almost daily via IM/Chat but hearing a voice is something entirely different.

OK....I'll stop whining now.