Life moments

I was told last night by a guy whom I slept with once that he was HIV+ and that I needed to get tested. My appointment is in 5 days and it will be a couple of days after that that I find out the results. This next week and a half is going to be hard...really hard.

The last 24 hours have not been the best. Naturally, there is little else I can do but think about it. What if? What if I am positive? What will this mean in my life? How will I tell people?

Thankfully, I have a fantastic group of supportive friends. Having them there just to listen--even though there isn't anything they can really say to comfort me--makes a real difference. A friend of mine is HIV+ and just telling him today somehow made me feel a lot better. He has gone through what I am going through and still going through so much of it, but he has a life and is healthy and happy. I know it isn't a death sentence anymore like it was 10-15-20 years ago and who knows what will happen in the next 10-15-20 years.

It is surprising how much better I feel tonight. I am not quite so all-consumed with worry. There is nothing I can do now about anything. No amount of worrying will change my blood...no matter what it does or doesn't contain.

No matter what the outcome these current two weeks will change my life.